I learnt something today
"The more effortless something looks,the more is the amount of effort put into it"
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Monday, August 04, 2008
My Funeral March!
When I Die, I want this song to be played at my funeral
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
cause there's too many places Ive got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I cant change.
Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I cant change.
But please don't take it badly,
cause lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I cant change.
Lord help me, I cant change.
If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
cause there's too many places Ive got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I cant change.
Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I cant change.
But please don't take it badly,
cause lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I cant change.
Lord help me, I cant change.
Again!!
Damn It!!
Again I find myself at a point where I seriously wonder "WTF am i even doing here". Blank, Confused and Cynical, exactly how i feel at the moment. Blank because nothing's making any sense, Confused because I don't know what to do and Cynical because this is a been there done that situation for me and nothing good's ever come out of it :)
I also wonder at times whether I should stop trusting people completely. Because lately what i've observed is that there is no use trusting anybody even a little bit because that they are resourceful and cunning enough to turn that little fiber of trust into a rope and strangle you with it at worst or atleast tie you up leaving you immobile yet watching.
The one thing that can frustrate you in life are limits. Whether it's in what you are doing or whether it's in yourself that the limits exist, they can inhibit you from carrying out something with the dedication and skill it deserves. If the limitation is something you were born with, nothing much you can do except try working around it a bit. But what if the limitation is self-imposed??
Questions that sear at my flesh.....Hopefully I shall have the answer someday :)
Again I find myself at a point where I seriously wonder "WTF am i even doing here". Blank, Confused and Cynical, exactly how i feel at the moment. Blank because nothing's making any sense, Confused because I don't know what to do and Cynical because this is a been there done that situation for me and nothing good's ever come out of it :)
I also wonder at times whether I should stop trusting people completely. Because lately what i've observed is that there is no use trusting anybody even a little bit because that they are resourceful and cunning enough to turn that little fiber of trust into a rope and strangle you with it at worst or atleast tie you up leaving you immobile yet watching.
The one thing that can frustrate you in life are limits. Whether it's in what you are doing or whether it's in yourself that the limits exist, they can inhibit you from carrying out something with the dedication and skill it deserves. If the limitation is something you were born with, nothing much you can do except try working around it a bit. But what if the limitation is self-imposed??
Questions that sear at my flesh.....Hopefully I shall have the answer someday :)
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Rumble...Ramble....Rumble
Lesson Of The Day: Cough Syrup CAN get you high
This is an example of a lesson i actually enjoyed learning ;) The sobriety of the past few weeks has been getting a little monotonous. Surprisingly, My health's been acting up at a time when it should absolutely not thus settling the argument that shit and bad luck always turn up at the wrong effin' time.
Funny thing about life is when you want to savour a good feeling, you never have the time to as something or the other just blitzes you away and keeps you occupied. But when you are trying to get rid of a bad feeling, Life suddenly slows down and makes you feel every nuance of that feeling till it passes which adding to the pain takes its own sweet time passing you by.
Lately, even though i'm known to occasionally lament my single status, I am also prone to thanking my stars for still keeping me single. The insanity that prevails among the couples around me makes me wonder whether i am actually prepared to sacrifice my sanity for some random gal. Also,for some reason, i'm not someone who can bear listening to a woman's tales of woe. I may be listening politely with an understanding look on my face, but my Inner Monologue will be asking the gal to cash in her reality check i.e deal with her issue and in the process get a life(Sounds scary,But that's me).
Can't think of any way to conclude this strangely random post,but who cares,My blog,My style ;)
This is an example of a lesson i actually enjoyed learning ;) The sobriety of the past few weeks has been getting a little monotonous. Surprisingly, My health's been acting up at a time when it should absolutely not thus settling the argument that shit and bad luck always turn up at the wrong effin' time.
Funny thing about life is when you want to savour a good feeling, you never have the time to as something or the other just blitzes you away and keeps you occupied. But when you are trying to get rid of a bad feeling, Life suddenly slows down and makes you feel every nuance of that feeling till it passes which adding to the pain takes its own sweet time passing you by.
Lately, even though i'm known to occasionally lament my single status, I am also prone to thanking my stars for still keeping me single. The insanity that prevails among the couples around me makes me wonder whether i am actually prepared to sacrifice my sanity for some random gal. Also,for some reason, i'm not someone who can bear listening to a woman's tales of woe. I may be listening politely with an understanding look on my face, but my Inner Monologue will be asking the gal to cash in her reality check i.e deal with her issue and in the process get a life(Sounds scary,But that's me).
Can't think of any way to conclude this strangely random post,but who cares,My blog,My style ;)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Fade To : Silence!
Laughing at life and its various idiocies has always been a favourite pastime of mine. It's something I've always enjoyed doing since quite some time now. But suddenly, Life's laughing back at me,and unfortunately for me, It drowns out my laughter by a few million decibels!
Weird as it may sound, I actually started acting all out of character since the past couple of weeks. I tried turning into my imaginary alter-ego for sometime. But I conveniently forgot the fact that my alter-ego exists in an equally alternate dimension where there's no such thing as a consequence. Pity, it's consequence that provides a foundation for every action in this universe.
Right now,I'm suddenly beginning to realize that I've changed a little too much and it's not being appreciated ;) While the more confident me has found a few takers, It has apparently rendered me "inaccessible" to a lot of people. Weirdly, I hated the accessible me because it gave people a pretty decent opportunity to dump all their crap on me.
I've basically started hating all my weaknesses which has sort of motivated me to start working on them so that even my weaknesses become my strengths. That's gonna take some time i guess, But hell, still got a long haul in front of me, so guess i don't have to worry about issues like "Is it worth it?"
Kinda feeling abandoned at the moment,yet i feel no fear because i have confidence in myself :)
Weird as it may sound, I actually started acting all out of character since the past couple of weeks. I tried turning into my imaginary alter-ego for sometime. But I conveniently forgot the fact that my alter-ego exists in an equally alternate dimension where there's no such thing as a consequence. Pity, it's consequence that provides a foundation for every action in this universe.
Right now,I'm suddenly beginning to realize that I've changed a little too much and it's not being appreciated ;) While the more confident me has found a few takers, It has apparently rendered me "inaccessible" to a lot of people. Weirdly, I hated the accessible me because it gave people a pretty decent opportunity to dump all their crap on me.
I've basically started hating all my weaknesses which has sort of motivated me to start working on them so that even my weaknesses become my strengths. That's gonna take some time i guess, But hell, still got a long haul in front of me, so guess i don't have to worry about issues like "Is it worth it?"
Kinda feeling abandoned at the moment,yet i feel no fear because i have confidence in myself :)
Thursday, July 03, 2008
God!!!!
This post finds me on a Thursday afternoon,staring at the screen,listening to some arbit hindi song that randomly starts playing on my system wondering the 1 question that's always bugged me from time immemorial (Or atleast since i started thinking deeply) "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON".
Tough question above,the only question which a semi decent quizzer like me has never been able to answer. The problem with the above question is that it never has a simple or a permanent answer unless you consider total confusion to be an answer which is not exactly correct all the time. The answers keep changing,the questions don't.
I'm kinda coming to terms with all that's happened since my 20th birthday. The minute i turned 20,i was literally pushed into a no man's land that's neither teenager nor adult and i'm still trying to get a grip. I know this sounds cliched,but since I've turned 20,I've been in a permanent state of free fall and everytime i've managed to hold on to something,it's broken off faster than i could settle into it.
It's been crazy,it's been insane,it's been ruthless,But overall it's been pure unadulterated fun!! The thing about my life is that when i'm surrounded by events happening around me,it never gets dull. It just moves from 1 point to the next at break-neck speed.
I still don't know where my life's headed and to be frank,I still don't care thank you very much.
Till the next entry ;)
Tough question above,the only question which a semi decent quizzer like me has never been able to answer. The problem with the above question is that it never has a simple or a permanent answer unless you consider total confusion to be an answer which is not exactly correct all the time. The answers keep changing,the questions don't.
I'm kinda coming to terms with all that's happened since my 20th birthday. The minute i turned 20,i was literally pushed into a no man's land that's neither teenager nor adult and i'm still trying to get a grip. I know this sounds cliched,but since I've turned 20,I've been in a permanent state of free fall and everytime i've managed to hold on to something,it's broken off faster than i could settle into it.
It's been crazy,it's been insane,it's been ruthless,But overall it's been pure unadulterated fun!! The thing about my life is that when i'm surrounded by events happening around me,it never gets dull. It just moves from 1 point to the next at break-neck speed.
I still don't know where my life's headed and to be frank,I still don't care thank you very much.
Till the next entry ;)
Thursday, June 12, 2008
20/20
Oh yeah,Can't believe i'm getting out of my fucking teens. Seriously, It's kinda crazy,for anybody born in 1988, you turn 20 and all you see around you is 20 thanks to cricket ;)
Freaky Friday is what it's gonna be this time. My birthday is on Friday the 13th,not exactly something to alarm the shit outta me except maybe for the fact that there are atleast 4 new movies releasing that day.
These days,looking at all the stuff that's happening around me, the fun,the tensions,the politics,the love,the hatred,the craziness,the moves,the countermoves etc,I sit,I watch,I laugh,I absorb the shock,I come to terms with the latest nonsense,I react,I stare,I dream,that's all i do.
Hell,here's wishing myself a happy 20th birthday in advance :),Hope this decade treats me better than the previous one.
My wishlist for this decade
1)I get a decent job
2)I make good money
3)I get the respect i deserve from folks around me
4)I make good friends
5)I finally get rid of my single status
6)I lose my virginity ;)
That's what i wish for. If i get it,good,if not,chuck it,there are other things ;)
Freaky Friday is what it's gonna be this time. My birthday is on Friday the 13th,not exactly something to alarm the shit outta me except maybe for the fact that there are atleast 4 new movies releasing that day.
These days,looking at all the stuff that's happening around me, the fun,the tensions,the politics,the love,the hatred,the craziness,the moves,the countermoves etc,I sit,I watch,I laugh,I absorb the shock,I come to terms with the latest nonsense,I react,I stare,I dream,that's all i do.
Hell,here's wishing myself a happy 20th birthday in advance :),Hope this decade treats me better than the previous one.
My wishlist for this decade
1)I get a decent job
2)I make good money
3)I get the respect i deserve from folks around me
4)I make good friends
5)I finally get rid of my single status
6)I lose my virginity ;)
That's what i wish for. If i get it,good,if not,chuck it,there are other things ;)
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Kerrraaaaazzzzzyyyyyy!!
Before you guys go off on some random tangent connecting me to KJo , Ekta Kapoor and the other K fixated individuals, lemme just say, WTF :D,if ya can't beat 'em join 'em...
Just got back home after the mandatory summer vacation trip to Bangalore. Normally,my blore visits are pretty long and everything,but this time i kinda figured i'll be better off with a short and sweet visit. Did the usual bit of eating(A bit would be an understatement) and shopping (That 70s show,Mahabharat,Scrubs and The Sopranos) and the socializing. Funnily, my last 2 visits to the city have been marked by major incidents in there,the last time i went there,The govt collapsed and Yeddy(Steady Go) ended up with egg(tomato if vegetarian) on his face. This time however the egg's been washed off by industrial strength shampoo and the face was glowing thanks to the application of Victory 1.0(Hopefully he should update it after 5 years). But this time's visit didn't just cause political upheaval,but also led to some serious action in the form of the new airport.
Caught my return flight from there today, Gotta admit, Bangalore International Airport beats the shit out of the other International airports in India when it comes to the overall swankiness factor. Wish i could've said the same thing about my flight. I don't get it. All right you guys are a low budget flight and all that,but is it a low budget trait to take off more than an hour late. 1st of all had a really stressful morning what with the last minute packing (My fave travel pastime) and me almost forgetting one of my essentials at home (oh the horror!) my earphones that is, and of course waiting for almost an hour for the damn bus to the airport to arrive.
At the airport it was equally surreal. The stare of admiration on checking out the snazzy interiors turned into one of SHOCK checking out the long line at the check-in counter(makes the line for the 1st day 1st show for a Rajni saar movie in Chennai look like a short one). Of course,the screaming kid behind me wasn't helping. Was kinda scary watching him throw his mom's mobile phone to the floor with absolute contempt. From then on,it was a long long wait for the flight punctuated by calls to random chatterboxes (Thank God for postpaid),wistful stares at the beauties sitting in the row across mine, even more wistful stares at the intercom praying for it to go "The boarding is announced for Flight $%% from Bangalore to Mangalore",but unfortunately that came after almost 3 hours.
But the fitting conclusion to the day came with my near death experience :P I know sounds kinda dramatic for me to make such statements, but trust me,anybody on my flight would've felt the same. The plane takes off and almost immediately flies right into an air pocket making us feel like we're inside a martini shaker. Then the plane drops and i don't mean a smooth landing drop. This was the real thing. Suddenly,my life's turned into an airplane disaster movie. Inside the plane it's like a horror movie with the lights flickering and the screams of the other passengers. I however was not gonna let my life end like this if it was gonna really happen. So i took a large swig of red bull,let the caffeine give me a good buzz and pumped up the volume on my headphones. What made it better was that i was listening to really aggressive numbers like The Kill,Broken Wings(The alter bridge version,not the Mr Mister version) etc. But what took the cake was that the name of the pilot was Captain Jesus. Yeah,i gotta admit i didn't see THAT coming. I half expected the dude to make an announcement saying "My name is Captain Jesus and I'm gonna introduce you to the real one in a few minutes".
To his credit though,we landed safely,otherwise it'd be weird writing this from heaven or hell(depending on God's mood). Most people would've had an epiphany or something after this incident. I just felt more hungry(Hadn't eaten all day), met up with a friend,enjoyed the greatest freaking smoke/drink/meal of my life,got home,popped in disc 1 season 1 of Scrubs,and said to myself "I love this fucking life".
Just got back home after the mandatory summer vacation trip to Bangalore. Normally,my blore visits are pretty long and everything,but this time i kinda figured i'll be better off with a short and sweet visit. Did the usual bit of eating(A bit would be an understatement) and shopping (That 70s show,Mahabharat,Scrubs and The Sopranos) and the socializing. Funnily, my last 2 visits to the city have been marked by major incidents in there,the last time i went there,The govt collapsed and Yeddy(Steady Go) ended up with egg(tomato if vegetarian) on his face. This time however the egg's been washed off by industrial strength shampoo and the face was glowing thanks to the application of Victory 1.0(Hopefully he should update it after 5 years). But this time's visit didn't just cause political upheaval,but also led to some serious action in the form of the new airport.
Caught my return flight from there today, Gotta admit, Bangalore International Airport beats the shit out of the other International airports in India when it comes to the overall swankiness factor. Wish i could've said the same thing about my flight. I don't get it. All right you guys are a low budget flight and all that,but is it a low budget trait to take off more than an hour late. 1st of all had a really stressful morning what with the last minute packing (My fave travel pastime) and me almost forgetting one of my essentials at home (oh the horror!) my earphones that is, and of course waiting for almost an hour for the damn bus to the airport to arrive.
At the airport it was equally surreal. The stare of admiration on checking out the snazzy interiors turned into one of SHOCK checking out the long line at the check-in counter(makes the line for the 1st day 1st show for a Rajni saar movie in Chennai look like a short one). Of course,the screaming kid behind me wasn't helping. Was kinda scary watching him throw his mom's mobile phone to the floor with absolute contempt. From then on,it was a long long wait for the flight punctuated by calls to random chatterboxes (Thank God for postpaid),wistful stares at the beauties sitting in the row across mine, even more wistful stares at the intercom praying for it to go "The boarding is announced for Flight $%% from Bangalore to Mangalore",but unfortunately that came after almost 3 hours.
But the fitting conclusion to the day came with my near death experience :P I know sounds kinda dramatic for me to make such statements, but trust me,anybody on my flight would've felt the same. The plane takes off and almost immediately flies right into an air pocket making us feel like we're inside a martini shaker. Then the plane drops and i don't mean a smooth landing drop. This was the real thing. Suddenly,my life's turned into an airplane disaster movie. Inside the plane it's like a horror movie with the lights flickering and the screams of the other passengers. I however was not gonna let my life end like this if it was gonna really happen. So i took a large swig of red bull,let the caffeine give me a good buzz and pumped up the volume on my headphones. What made it better was that i was listening to really aggressive numbers like The Kill,Broken Wings(The alter bridge version,not the Mr Mister version) etc. But what took the cake was that the name of the pilot was Captain Jesus. Yeah,i gotta admit i didn't see THAT coming. I half expected the dude to make an announcement saying "My name is Captain Jesus and I'm gonna introduce you to the real one in a few minutes".
To his credit though,we landed safely,otherwise it'd be weird writing this from heaven or hell(depending on God's mood). Most people would've had an epiphany or something after this incident. I just felt more hungry(Hadn't eaten all day), met up with a friend,enjoyed the greatest freaking smoke/drink/meal of my life,got home,popped in disc 1 season 1 of Scrubs,and said to myself "I love this fucking life".
Thursday, May 08, 2008
And Now!!!
I kinda like the title of this post. It reminds me of one of my favourite songs. Jumpin Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones. I've got 3 different versions of this song by the rolling stones and other cover versions by artistes as diverse as Guns'N'Roses and Ananda Shankar(WTF!!!). The and now!! comes from the time they performed at the rock'n'roll circus of 1968 where John Lennon introduced the band. Man,now if that doesn't define big,dunno what does. Almost like having the Pope as your chauffeur or Arnold Schwarzenegger as your personal bodyguard.
Well, the exams have been crawling just like i'd predicted in an earlier where i mentioned a relation between time and the heat. Exams!!! Jesus F******g Christ!!!! Why do these guys think that it's the best way to prepare us for the real world by bombarding us with stuff that doesn't mean shit in the real world?????? Now i get it when they teach us stuff like marketing concepts and stuff. But what truly defines shit is Computers. People are moving to high tech crime with concepts like Phishing and Pharming(Sounds like some idiot with a speech impediment made up this stuff), But we are being taught something that is more blunt than Simon Cowell on a bad day,stuff like Windows 3.1(Oooh so cool so high funda), MS-Dos( Wow,black and white user unfriendly command prompt,so much fun) and worse shit than that. Why don't they instead teach us stuff like how to look busy with a blank Excel spreadsheet on your monitor, dealing with office politics(that shit could be a master's degree course in itself), tolerating your Boss's bullshit(under societal ethics perhaps)....
I know i'm ranting, but then you've gotta agree with me. Nothing satisfies you more than a well expressed rant. Good food gives ya cholesterol, Cigarettes ruin your throat and other stuff, Booze fucks your liver, But a good display of anger, that makes ya feel lighter that the most advanced form of power yoga.
Power Yoga reminds me of all the skinny chicks we see on TV and in the movies. God Knows which idiot told them that their ribs showing is sexy!!!! Take for example, All the well known supermodels for example. They look more starved than sexy. You think she's looking at you hungrily, think again, she's probably imagining a good meal.
Arrite,i seem to be running out of excuses to rant :P No problem though,i'll find something new tomorrow.
Btw, Withdrawal symptoms+Red Bull+A LOT of Tea= Not such a good idea ;)
Well, the exams have been crawling just like i'd predicted in an earlier where i mentioned a relation between time and the heat. Exams!!! Jesus F******g Christ!!!! Why do these guys think that it's the best way to prepare us for the real world by bombarding us with stuff that doesn't mean shit in the real world?????? Now i get it when they teach us stuff like marketing concepts and stuff. But what truly defines shit is Computers. People are moving to high tech crime with concepts like Phishing and Pharming(Sounds like some idiot with a speech impediment made up this stuff), But we are being taught something that is more blunt than Simon Cowell on a bad day,stuff like Windows 3.1(Oooh so cool so high funda), MS-Dos( Wow,black and white user unfriendly command prompt,so much fun) and worse shit than that. Why don't they instead teach us stuff like how to look busy with a blank Excel spreadsheet on your monitor, dealing with office politics(that shit could be a master's degree course in itself), tolerating your Boss's bullshit(under societal ethics perhaps)....
I know i'm ranting, but then you've gotta agree with me. Nothing satisfies you more than a well expressed rant. Good food gives ya cholesterol, Cigarettes ruin your throat and other stuff, Booze fucks your liver, But a good display of anger, that makes ya feel lighter that the most advanced form of power yoga.
Power Yoga reminds me of all the skinny chicks we see on TV and in the movies. God Knows which idiot told them that their ribs showing is sexy!!!! Take for example, All the well known supermodels for example. They look more starved than sexy. You think she's looking at you hungrily, think again, she's probably imagining a good meal.
Arrite,i seem to be running out of excuses to rant :P No problem though,i'll find something new tomorrow.
Btw, Withdrawal symptoms+Red Bull+A LOT of Tea= Not such a good idea ;)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Well....
Still stuck here with time slowly crawling by,moving fast when it wants to,crawling languidly at its worst. The dreaded exams have finally gained on me,only 1 day standing between me and them before i launch into one bloody battle. Ok that sounds totally cliched like some of the stuff you see on orkut profiles at this time of year, like this dude who goes "lost the battle of physics" blah blah blah ad nauseum. But gotta give a hand to the guy for glamorizing exams by giving it a Lord Of The Rings/Star Wars touch with stuff like Battle of blah blah. Kinda makes you imagine the guy dressed up like some medieval warrior fighting an orc.
My story right now is almost the same as it was the last time i posted. Now i've got 23 more days to go before I go off on another trip to my favourite destination Bangalore(I still can't bring myself to say Bengaluru,kinda pisses me off). A couple of years back,the main reason i used to love Bangalore was for its repertoire of culinary delights, But then Mangalore ain't no slouch in that field. Especially recently where restaurants have been opening up here at pretty reasonable intervals. But when it comes to materialistic nirvana,nothing beats Bangalore. It's been a paradise for me and Dante's Inferno to my dad who visualises money flying away at the speed of a jet when i just say "Bangalore" in front of him.
Last time i was there, I ended up at this place called National Market. Now to the outsider, it looks like the Black Hole of Calcutta, only instead of prisoners, you've got retailers and customers here. But to somebody who likes quality stuff,but hates spending too much for it, this is THE Place to be. The place turns me into a vampire at a blood bank. The place has got the biggest collection of DVDs of TV shows,Movies,music videos etc i've ever seen(People beg to differ saying that Palika Bazaar in Delhi and Chor Bazaar in Mumbai have got more stuff,but then i've never been to either of these places). In fact this is the only place where it took me more than 20 minutes to buy whatever i wanted. I've been known for buying my cellphone(worth almost 20k when i bought it,now not even half that price),a travel bag for Dad and a pair of leather shoes(worth 2 grand) within 15 minutes without even flinching. But this place kind of opened my eyes to why women spend so much time to just buy some clothes or shoes.
The last time i was there, i ended up buying the entire collection of Seinfeld, the 1st 2 seasons of Prison Break and the 1st season of Heroes. All these shows have been truly worth every buck i've paid for them. This time,i hope i get as lucky with what i'm buying,That 70s show,The Sopranos and if any money's left maybe Boston Legal.
But all this is still 23 days away,so till then,just pray that i survive these exams.
My story right now is almost the same as it was the last time i posted. Now i've got 23 more days to go before I go off on another trip to my favourite destination Bangalore(I still can't bring myself to say Bengaluru,kinda pisses me off). A couple of years back,the main reason i used to love Bangalore was for its repertoire of culinary delights, But then Mangalore ain't no slouch in that field. Especially recently where restaurants have been opening up here at pretty reasonable intervals. But when it comes to materialistic nirvana,nothing beats Bangalore. It's been a paradise for me and Dante's Inferno to my dad who visualises money flying away at the speed of a jet when i just say "Bangalore" in front of him.
Last time i was there, I ended up at this place called National Market. Now to the outsider, it looks like the Black Hole of Calcutta, only instead of prisoners, you've got retailers and customers here. But to somebody who likes quality stuff,but hates spending too much for it, this is THE Place to be. The place turns me into a vampire at a blood bank. The place has got the biggest collection of DVDs of TV shows,Movies,music videos etc i've ever seen(People beg to differ saying that Palika Bazaar in Delhi and Chor Bazaar in Mumbai have got more stuff,but then i've never been to either of these places). In fact this is the only place where it took me more than 20 minutes to buy whatever i wanted. I've been known for buying my cellphone(worth almost 20k when i bought it,now not even half that price),a travel bag for Dad and a pair of leather shoes(worth 2 grand) within 15 minutes without even flinching. But this place kind of opened my eyes to why women spend so much time to just buy some clothes or shoes.
The last time i was there, i ended up buying the entire collection of Seinfeld, the 1st 2 seasons of Prison Break and the 1st season of Heroes. All these shows have been truly worth every buck i've paid for them. This time,i hope i get as lucky with what i'm buying,That 70s show,The Sopranos and if any money's left maybe Boston Legal.
But all this is still 23 days away,so till then,just pray that i survive these exams.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Minutes Past Midnight
One of those nights indeed. Am halfway between total depression and laughing my ass off. Yep i can be a tad schizophrenic at times. This is just one of those nights where I'm still awake when i should have been in bed atleast an hour ago. Well, Boredom and Summer don't mix. Actually if you look at it, Boredom is like lousy booze, never mixes with anything.
Actually, If i look at my situation from a more sane perspective I shouldn't be cribbing about being bored as my exams are just around the corner and the last thing i should be is bored. But then I was never much of a studious guy. I am more of a last minute guy when it comes to academics, unfortunately for me though, my group of friends isn't the same. So while they're burning the midnight oil( Not really,they study all day long and sleep all night) I'm up here penning down my thoughts about well myself and life from my perspective (Sane at times,Insane all the time).
Ironically, my talent for writing bullshit blossoms at times like this when i should be involved in something more productive like studying till my brain explodes and then some more. This is when i think to myself "Thank God I'm not in engineering or medicine". And ironically, I feel bored the most during even numbered semesters whose exams come during summer. Oddly during odd semesters I never feel this way probably because of Diwali and a whole lot of other festivals happening at the time or maybe because odd semester exams aren't taken that seriously (Yeah right!!!). Another reason could also be the fact that the weather is more agreeable at that time of year whereas now time just seems stretched like a lousy Karan Johar movie.
Exams and me have never really gotten along except for a brief glorious period when i was in PU college when i actually used to look forward to exams because i was secure in the belief that i would score well. But now, College is a totally different ball game where your expectations are inversely proportional to marks actually scored. So in such a case, my interest in studies just waned. However this time, it remains to be seen how the coming exams will go, whether i'll be left smiling at the end of it or scratching my head going "What The Fuck?". Guess i need to butter up the Gods a bit this time. Hell, at the risk of sounding gay, I say "Que Sera Sera,Whatever will be will be".
Actually, If i look at my situation from a more sane perspective I shouldn't be cribbing about being bored as my exams are just around the corner and the last thing i should be is bored. But then I was never much of a studious guy. I am more of a last minute guy when it comes to academics, unfortunately for me though, my group of friends isn't the same. So while they're burning the midnight oil( Not really,they study all day long and sleep all night) I'm up here penning down my thoughts about well myself and life from my perspective (Sane at times,Insane all the time).
Ironically, my talent for writing bullshit blossoms at times like this when i should be involved in something more productive like studying till my brain explodes and then some more. This is when i think to myself "Thank God I'm not in engineering or medicine". And ironically, I feel bored the most during even numbered semesters whose exams come during summer. Oddly during odd semesters I never feel this way probably because of Diwali and a whole lot of other festivals happening at the time or maybe because odd semester exams aren't taken that seriously (Yeah right!!!). Another reason could also be the fact that the weather is more agreeable at that time of year whereas now time just seems stretched like a lousy Karan Johar movie.
Exams and me have never really gotten along except for a brief glorious period when i was in PU college when i actually used to look forward to exams because i was secure in the belief that i would score well. But now, College is a totally different ball game where your expectations are inversely proportional to marks actually scored. So in such a case, my interest in studies just waned. However this time, it remains to be seen how the coming exams will go, whether i'll be left smiling at the end of it or scratching my head going "What The Fuck?". Guess i need to butter up the Gods a bit this time. Hell, at the risk of sounding gay, I say "Que Sera Sera,Whatever will be will be".
Friday, April 04, 2008
Whoa!! Long Time!!
Whoa!! Long Time!!
That's what my blog seems to be saying to me. Thankfully on more pleasant terms rather than a wife confronting a husband who walked out on her ages ago which going by experience (Not Mine!!) is followed by a long monologue on the shortcomings of the man, his lack of a couple of interesting body parts that are mostly covered up and blah blah. Well, I haven't exactly got any excuses on why this blog's been silent from ages. There has been a lot of stuff to write about. But like a guy about to break up with his girl would say "It's not you,it's me". Well,the writing bug is the only bug that ain't biting me lately. Probably felt sorry for all the sores on my body.
Today was a pretty interesting day. But it kinda had a sad tinge to it. The quiz club that i belong to is kind of coming to an end. It was fun while it lasted, but now most of the members are moving on the greener pastures leaving a few of us behind while we still come to terms with what we want to do with life. They say "All good things come to an end", but sometimes you wanna just scream "Why????".
I can't exactly blame myself for feeling this way. The club had sort of become a way of life for me. I've been into quizzing since i was really young, thanks to Bournvita Quiz Contest and all those GK books my Mom used to read which i ended up reading. Then of course, all the quiz competitions in school and even now in college have kept my interest alive. The club however played a major part in me improving my quiz quotient. I learnt that quiz wasn't all simple questions and slightly distorted pictures, but also workable passages and connections and fundaes , some random , some spectacular. I myself have improved pretty substantially at figuring out the most random connects.
Today's meeting was a sort of Grand Finale, so it was held at a larger venue with the members turning out in full force. Most of them have already relocated, but came back for this final farewell. It was a fun evening of questions, answers and good food.
The rest of the day was pretty all right. Had to get some pictures taken for some ration card thing, didn't exactly follow the reason. My eyes have this tendency to water the minute i stare at a camera which occurred today as well making the photo session an ordeal. Was impressed with the fact that these guys have actually started using web cams to take snaps thus saving a load of time. Then there were the fingerprint taking thingamajigs which were seriously cool. Then of course tuitions which I've actually begun to enjoy rather than dread.
Well,that's all for the moment,guess i'll write more often sooner or later
That's what my blog seems to be saying to me. Thankfully on more pleasant terms rather than a wife confronting a husband who walked out on her ages ago which going by experience (Not Mine!!) is followed by a long monologue on the shortcomings of the man, his lack of a couple of interesting body parts that are mostly covered up and blah blah. Well, I haven't exactly got any excuses on why this blog's been silent from ages. There has been a lot of stuff to write about. But like a guy about to break up with his girl would say "It's not you,it's me". Well,the writing bug is the only bug that ain't biting me lately. Probably felt sorry for all the sores on my body.
Today was a pretty interesting day. But it kinda had a sad tinge to it. The quiz club that i belong to is kind of coming to an end. It was fun while it lasted, but now most of the members are moving on the greener pastures leaving a few of us behind while we still come to terms with what we want to do with life. They say "All good things come to an end", but sometimes you wanna just scream "Why????".
I can't exactly blame myself for feeling this way. The club had sort of become a way of life for me. I've been into quizzing since i was really young, thanks to Bournvita Quiz Contest and all those GK books my Mom used to read which i ended up reading. Then of course, all the quiz competitions in school and even now in college have kept my interest alive. The club however played a major part in me improving my quiz quotient. I learnt that quiz wasn't all simple questions and slightly distorted pictures, but also workable passages and connections and fundaes , some random , some spectacular. I myself have improved pretty substantially at figuring out the most random connects.
Today's meeting was a sort of Grand Finale, so it was held at a larger venue with the members turning out in full force. Most of them have already relocated, but came back for this final farewell. It was a fun evening of questions, answers and good food.
The rest of the day was pretty all right. Had to get some pictures taken for some ration card thing, didn't exactly follow the reason. My eyes have this tendency to water the minute i stare at a camera which occurred today as well making the photo session an ordeal. Was impressed with the fact that these guys have actually started using web cams to take snaps thus saving a load of time. Then there were the fingerprint taking thingamajigs which were seriously cool. Then of course tuitions which I've actually begun to enjoy rather than dread.
Well,that's all for the moment,guess i'll write more often sooner or later
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Long time!
Been suffering from an extended case of Writer's block lately. Need to shove off the laziness. However not to worry. That's because my study holz are gonna be happening soon. So i'll be jobless enuff to update this baby.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Travel,A Crazy Baby and Neutrality - 2
Ok, I'm back (Not that anybody cares). Well, the last time I wrote, i mentioned that we were at Margao railway station waiting for our train. Finally when the bloody train arrived,we were so tired that we ended up in the sleeper coach and happily paid 80 bucks extra each to settle there. Now I gotta admit,the route to Belgaum from Margaon was pure and simple heaven. That's the kind of stuff you get to see if you are a traveller. The journey made me realise why they say that Travel broadens a man's horizons. It is because you get to see a completely different side of the world. A world far removed from filth and ugliness. A world showing off its beauty to a few select people. And i was fortunate enough to see it.
Finally, We reached our destination for the next 3 days, Belgaum. Now Belgaum from what i heard is basically an Army cantonment surrounded by a city. Well,City is basically a little too much. It's more like a medium town,Not a small town because it's got something that catapults it out of the unremarkable list of small towns. CAFE COFFEE DAY. Yeah,Humanity's greatest benchmark of civilisation,a coffee shop. Unfortunately we landed at Belgaum railway station at night. Night-time is when all the shady characters turn up out of nowhere. And Belgaum wasn't behind in that league either. Some of the people looked so sinister they wouldn't be out of place in an Edgar Allan Poe short story. Luckily the organisers turned up and got us out of there.
I got into the ubiquitous auto-rickshaw with a couple of guys and we made our way to the hotel where we were to be put up. The hotel's name was Hotel Ramdev which seemed to be the only decent eating joint in the entire place (Don't forget CCD). I entered my room and nearly fainted in shock. There were 18 of us and only 3 rooms. So some last minute adjustments and damage control were done, But the fact remained that there were 5 of us sleeping in a room meant for 2 people. Cramping indeed. However when you are with friends, you tend to concentrate on more interesting things like the cute chicks around you.
I forget to mention one of our sources of Entertainment. Forgive me my Mallu friends if you are offended by this , but please remember, i mean no offence. There was this mallu gal in the next room who apparently thought it prudent to inform us about every damn action planned by her. It was tolerable to a certain extent, but what do you say to "I am in the toilet". Me thinks the hotel's walls are too thin.
The next day we woke up with grumpy faces and even grumpier stomachs thanks to the last night's hakka noodles at some restaurant where it seemed we were the 1st customers in a long time. However, We were at a fest and not on a holiday as was intimated to us by every 2nd person including the bellboy (No tips for you jerkoff!). Now luckily i didn't have any of my rounds that day, so i planned to roam around belgaum, paint the town red, flirt with some PYTs around and do anything that my imagination would permit. Or so i thought. To my horror i realised that i had forgotten about something really important, The Ice-Breaker....
Taking a leaf out of Ekta Kapoor's book
To Be Continued.....(Someday!)
Finally, We reached our destination for the next 3 days, Belgaum. Now Belgaum from what i heard is basically an Army cantonment surrounded by a city. Well,City is basically a little too much. It's more like a medium town,Not a small town because it's got something that catapults it out of the unremarkable list of small towns. CAFE COFFEE DAY. Yeah,Humanity's greatest benchmark of civilisation,a coffee shop. Unfortunately we landed at Belgaum railway station at night. Night-time is when all the shady characters turn up out of nowhere. And Belgaum wasn't behind in that league either. Some of the people looked so sinister they wouldn't be out of place in an Edgar Allan Poe short story. Luckily the organisers turned up and got us out of there.
I got into the ubiquitous auto-rickshaw with a couple of guys and we made our way to the hotel where we were to be put up. The hotel's name was Hotel Ramdev which seemed to be the only decent eating joint in the entire place (Don't forget CCD). I entered my room and nearly fainted in shock. There were 18 of us and only 3 rooms. So some last minute adjustments and damage control were done, But the fact remained that there were 5 of us sleeping in a room meant for 2 people. Cramping indeed. However when you are with friends, you tend to concentrate on more interesting things like the cute chicks around you.
I forget to mention one of our sources of Entertainment. Forgive me my Mallu friends if you are offended by this , but please remember, i mean no offence. There was this mallu gal in the next room who apparently thought it prudent to inform us about every damn action planned by her. It was tolerable to a certain extent, but what do you say to "I am in the toilet". Me thinks the hotel's walls are too thin.
The next day we woke up with grumpy faces and even grumpier stomachs thanks to the last night's hakka noodles at some restaurant where it seemed we were the 1st customers in a long time. However, We were at a fest and not on a holiday as was intimated to us by every 2nd person including the bellboy (No tips for you jerkoff!). Now luckily i didn't have any of my rounds that day, so i planned to roam around belgaum, paint the town red, flirt with some PYTs around and do anything that my imagination would permit. Or so i thought. To my horror i realised that i had forgotten about something really important, The Ice-Breaker....
Taking a leaf out of Ekta Kapoor's book
To Be Continued.....(Someday!)
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Travel,A Crazy Baby and Neutrality
Lately i've been doing a little bit of travelling here and there. A month back,i got the news that i'll be participating in my 1st ever lone wolf (Solo) business quiz. Now the term business quiz kinda sends shivers down my spine because unlike a regular GK quiz, i can never really get the hang of a business quiz because most questions in a business quiz come under 2 categories, Insanely easy and psychotically tough. And i am the kind of guy who never really likes to prepare for a quiz. So i just set out to Belgaum last week to face what would be a rip-roaring, mind-blasting experience.
Now, I'm not exactly a big fan of travelling. Especially when it comes to Long journeys, God alone knows how i manage to keep my sanity intact at the end of it. Like most Geminis i'm annoyingly restless and when i get restless, without my knowledge i get on other people's nerves. Add to that the consternation in my mind when i came to know that we have to change a train to Belgaum from Goa. But since i was too resigned to my fate, i resisted from cursing the Great Indian Railways(Which for your information is the organisation with the highest number of employees). Now the preparations for Belgaum began.
A typical management fest consists of the following events give or take a couple, Marketing , Stock, Advertising, Finance, Best Manager, HR and of course Business Quiz. Well, I've been a quizzer since my school days and been a pretty decent one at that (The trophies in my shelf stand as a testament to that) but back then, they were mostly general quizzes held at the district level, so the level of competition at that time was pretty easy, but the moment i stepped into college, i knew i was in a totally different ball game. Anyways that's history,will post more on that in some other post. Now as the preparations for this fest began, so did all the craziness. Turns out that we had to take a 1st yr team along too. So there was a little babysitting involved here(Any of my juniors read this,they're gonna kill me). So that led to late night reports, brainstorming sessions , lack of sleep etc.
Finally came the day of the journey, 6 hrs to Margao and 4 hrs to Belgaum from there. The 1st part of the journey was pretty dull, but the journey from Margao to Belgaum was pretty interesting.
Ok,this is turning into an epic,guess i need to wrap it up here for now,will move into the next part later
Now, I'm not exactly a big fan of travelling. Especially when it comes to Long journeys, God alone knows how i manage to keep my sanity intact at the end of it. Like most Geminis i'm annoyingly restless and when i get restless, without my knowledge i get on other people's nerves. Add to that the consternation in my mind when i came to know that we have to change a train to Belgaum from Goa. But since i was too resigned to my fate, i resisted from cursing the Great Indian Railways(Which for your information is the organisation with the highest number of employees). Now the preparations for Belgaum began.
A typical management fest consists of the following events give or take a couple, Marketing , Stock, Advertising, Finance, Best Manager, HR and of course Business Quiz. Well, I've been a quizzer since my school days and been a pretty decent one at that (The trophies in my shelf stand as a testament to that) but back then, they were mostly general quizzes held at the district level, so the level of competition at that time was pretty easy, but the moment i stepped into college, i knew i was in a totally different ball game. Anyways that's history,will post more on that in some other post. Now as the preparations for this fest began, so did all the craziness. Turns out that we had to take a 1st yr team along too. So there was a little babysitting involved here(Any of my juniors read this,they're gonna kill me). So that led to late night reports, brainstorming sessions , lack of sleep etc.
Finally came the day of the journey, 6 hrs to Margao and 4 hrs to Belgaum from there. The 1st part of the journey was pretty dull, but the journey from Margao to Belgaum was pretty interesting.
Ok,this is turning into an epic,guess i need to wrap it up here for now,will move into the next part later
Monday, August 06, 2007
In The Name Of The Father
Been biding my time lately watching all the insanity around me imagining myself as the calm little centre of this weird world.However things have been pretty interesting lately.Saw a couple of movies over the weekend.
Cash-Ugh!I was seriously disappointed after watching this movie.It had everything going for it,Cool promos,an equally good starcast(excluding Zayed Khan and the gals),an awesome soundtrack,mind blowing cinematography,pulse racing stunts and what not.But,the movie was 100% gloss and absolutely no substance.The movie moved at a sloooooooooooooow pace and the dialogues mostly sucked.The worst part was the writers of the movie tried acting clever and while in 1-2 instances,it actually worked making you go "Cool",the rest of the time you'd just go "Huh,What was that?".Guess we need to stop working on special effects and stunts and work on the stories.
Gandhi,My Father-How does one describe a beautiful work of art?That's exactly how i felt as i walked out of the theatre today,and it influenced the title of this post(and not the daniel day lewis movie as hollywood purists would think).The movie was sheer poetry.You feel every emotion that's portrayed on screen.Darshan Jariwala shows the vulnerable side of Gandhi with finesse.Akshaye Khanna who finally takes a break from overacting in movies like Salaam-e-Ishq and Aap Ki Khatir does some real acting and proves why he's such a fine actor.He brings out the frustration of Harilal Gandhi with perfection.I wish he showed the same dedication in choosing his movies.Shefali Shah is a pleasure to watch as always.She portrays the anguish of a woman caught in a dilemma flawlessly.Bhoomika Chawla is equally good as Gulab Gandhi and makes you want to see more of her.Anil Kapoor is truly a brave soul for having had the balls to invest in this movie.Unfortunately,the theatre was nearly empty,pity for the movie deserves more.Hopefully,it should be sent to the Oscars this time.
Besides all this,life's still the same as always.Having my share of fun.College is kind of getting more interesting now that all the activities have started.Got some serious travelling to do soon.
Anyways,will post more later.
Cash-Ugh!I was seriously disappointed after watching this movie.It had everything going for it,Cool promos,an equally good starcast(excluding Zayed Khan and the gals),an awesome soundtrack,mind blowing cinematography,pulse racing stunts and what not.But,the movie was 100% gloss and absolutely no substance.The movie moved at a sloooooooooooooow pace and the dialogues mostly sucked.The worst part was the writers of the movie tried acting clever and while in 1-2 instances,it actually worked making you go "Cool",the rest of the time you'd just go "Huh,What was that?".Guess we need to stop working on special effects and stunts and work on the stories.
Gandhi,My Father-How does one describe a beautiful work of art?That's exactly how i felt as i walked out of the theatre today,and it influenced the title of this post(and not the daniel day lewis movie as hollywood purists would think).The movie was sheer poetry.You feel every emotion that's portrayed on screen.Darshan Jariwala shows the vulnerable side of Gandhi with finesse.Akshaye Khanna who finally takes a break from overacting in movies like Salaam-e-Ishq and Aap Ki Khatir does some real acting and proves why he's such a fine actor.He brings out the frustration of Harilal Gandhi with perfection.I wish he showed the same dedication in choosing his movies.Shefali Shah is a pleasure to watch as always.She portrays the anguish of a woman caught in a dilemma flawlessly.Bhoomika Chawla is equally good as Gulab Gandhi and makes you want to see more of her.Anil Kapoor is truly a brave soul for having had the balls to invest in this movie.Unfortunately,the theatre was nearly empty,pity for the movie deserves more.Hopefully,it should be sent to the Oscars this time.
Besides all this,life's still the same as always.Having my share of fun.College is kind of getting more interesting now that all the activities have started.Got some serious travelling to do soon.
Anyways,will post more later.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Failure and The Aftermath-2
Picking up from where we left off,I was reeling from the sudden news of results being out.However i got a call from my friend and i liked what i heard.However,i needed some retail therapy to recover.So,went on a bit of a shopping spree(Being generous here).
When you've got a hangover,you look at the world from a different perspective compared to how you look at it normally.1st of all,i think,Malls are over-rated.When people get all excited going "Hey,new mall coming up!!",I fail to share their enthusiasm.The 1st thing i look for in a mall is the food court,2nd the multiplex and 3rd the exit.Don't really give a rat's ass about the rest of the place.
Also,why is it that when they say 50% end of season,they don't really mean it?I always end up missing out on reading the fine print.And 1 more thing i've noticed is,All the big designer stores like Provogue,Indigo Nation or Levis are nearly empty.I always feel pity for the salesmen in there because theirs is a boring life and i'd feel even more pity if they were working on commission.
Coming back to the main issue,Failure can be painful to handle.Only way to handle it according to me is to take it like a man and not take it personally.Why i say this is because,at least you get to learn something good out of it,as long as you ain't overly sensitive.Why i hate failure is because i am my worst critic.Therefore,the kind of mental spanking i give myself is so painful i'm unable to emerge from the ruins for days.
But hell,Life's short,so don't take it too fuckin seriously else it's gonna eat you up.
When you've got a hangover,you look at the world from a different perspective compared to how you look at it normally.1st of all,i think,Malls are over-rated.When people get all excited going "Hey,new mall coming up!!",I fail to share their enthusiasm.The 1st thing i look for in a mall is the food court,2nd the multiplex and 3rd the exit.Don't really give a rat's ass about the rest of the place.
Also,why is it that when they say 50% end of season,they don't really mean it?I always end up missing out on reading the fine print.And 1 more thing i've noticed is,All the big designer stores like Provogue,Indigo Nation or Levis are nearly empty.I always feel pity for the salesmen in there because theirs is a boring life and i'd feel even more pity if they were working on commission.
Coming back to the main issue,Failure can be painful to handle.Only way to handle it according to me is to take it like a man and not take it personally.Why i say this is because,at least you get to learn something good out of it,as long as you ain't overly sensitive.Why i hate failure is because i am my worst critic.Therefore,the kind of mental spanking i give myself is so painful i'm unable to emerge from the ruins for days.
But hell,Life's short,so don't take it too fuckin seriously else it's gonna eat you up.
Failure!
Failure can be defined as the opposite of success.
None of us are strangers to failure.Everybody faces it at some point in their life.It's all about getting used to the feeling.It hurts the most when you have worked hard and are expecting good results and instead you end up with failure.But once you get used to it,It doesn't hurt as much.All you feel is total indifference.
None of us are strangers to failure.Everybody faces it at some point in their life.It's all about getting used to the feeling.It hurts the most when you have worked hard and are expecting good results and instead you end up with failure.But once you get used to it,It doesn't hurt as much.All you feel is total indifference.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Making The Right Choice
How does one actually decide what is right and what is wrong?This is a question that has been nagging me a lot recently.
One example of it was last week.I had to review a movie for the website i work for.Now,i hated the movie.It was terrible and a strain on my sanity.But unfortunately i had to give it a good review.Now,if you are reading this,you may naively ask "Why?" and if you are worldly wise,you'll know why?But for those who don't,let me explain.Every website has given the movie good reviews except for one lone shining star.But even though my job came with the promise of creative freedom,it was far from it.I ended up following the general opinion.
Now this is where i start to ask myself,why didn't i just follow my gut instinct?Well,I'd loved to have done that,but unfortunately i couldn't because then i'd be accused of being "biased".Well,that's a pity because i know that what i watched was crap.But unfortunately,i am a part of the "thinking audience" which as we know is a minority in our country.The masses however loved the movie and have praised it to the skies.
God,why's this so confusing???
One example of it was last week.I had to review a movie for the website i work for.Now,i hated the movie.It was terrible and a strain on my sanity.But unfortunately i had to give it a good review.Now,if you are reading this,you may naively ask "Why?" and if you are worldly wise,you'll know why?But for those who don't,let me explain.Every website has given the movie good reviews except for one lone shining star.But even though my job came with the promise of creative freedom,it was far from it.I ended up following the general opinion.
Now this is where i start to ask myself,why didn't i just follow my gut instinct?Well,I'd loved to have done that,but unfortunately i couldn't because then i'd be accused of being "biased".Well,that's a pity because i know that what i watched was crap.But unfortunately,i am a part of the "thinking audience" which as we know is a minority in our country.The masses however loved the movie and have praised it to the skies.
God,why's this so confusing???
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Humiliation!
Warning:The following post contains a lot of negative vibes and is not exactly what i'd describe as feel good reading unless you are a sadist or my enemy.
Humiliation is lowering a person's status in his own eyes as well as other's eyes.
Being experienced in always ending up at the receiving end of humiliation,one would guess that I am used to the feeling.Well,in a way,it's led to heightened anticipation of the feeling in me,but the hurt,depression and self-loathing that follows,Nah,can never get used to it.
I've been a glutton for punishment since i was a child.I've been humiliated for a lot of things which may seem silly to those who did it or for those reading this,but to me,it matters a lot because now when i look back at what all humiliations i've been through,I think that maybe all these incidents have defined me to a major extent.
I have been humiliated for a variety of reasons since the beginning.Maybe the fact that i'm not a very sociable guy,my physical appearance,my lousy sense of timing etc etc.I don't know what,but a lot of ammunition has always been used against me for reasons way beyond my comprehension.Some humiliations can be justified as even i believe that i seriously had them coming,but some of them,i still maintain,i never deserved.They were just actions of pure spite by normal people having abnormal moments and unfortunately for me,my lousy sense of timing brought me in the firing line of their anger burst.
Now the above wouldn't have mattered to me had it not been for my high sensitivity level.Although i am not as sensitive as i used to be when younger,i still hate being embarassed.The problem here is that i never really grew a thick skin like most people i know.I sometimes wish that i could just forget whatever crap people tell me and move on,but sometimes it's just not possible as how much ever i try to forget it,I am not able to.
There are also many occasions where i have been used and taken advantage of by unscrupulous people who were out to pursue their own goals through me.An unfortunate problem i face(So do a lot of others) is that i am a little naive at times.Due to this,i end up trusting the wrong people most of the time.These people make me feel like they are my friends and will always be there for me while they have a good time at my expense and the day i cease to be of any use to them,they start treating me like shit and taking me for granted.
Why i am writing this is because today i went through another humiliation,this one coming after a long time and I seriously need to let off some steam.Now today's incident has left me confused.I don't even know if i had it coming.I'm not as angry about being rebuked by the authority as about the fact that a lot of people who hate me got a great opportunity to have a legitimate laugh at my expense.Now if my guess is right,i'll be the butt of jokes for a few days,then everybody will forget it,i too will forget most of it,but the humiliation will remain and will come up at the most inopportune times.
I know this is just another angry rant,but to be frank,this is what helps me from losing it.And to be frank,from now on,this is gonna be my only response to people who try to mess with my feelings and besides a wise man once remarked "It takes 72 muscles to frown and 34 muscles to smile,But it takes only 4 muscles to show them the finger"
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