Wednesday, May 28, 2008


Before you guys go off on some random tangent connecting me to KJo , Ekta Kapoor and the other K fixated individuals, lemme just say, WTF :D,if ya can't beat 'em join 'em...

Just got back home after the mandatory summer vacation trip to Bangalore. Normally,my blore visits are pretty long and everything,but this time i kinda figured i'll be better off with a short and sweet visit. Did the usual bit of eating(A bit would be an understatement) and shopping (That 70s show,Mahabharat,Scrubs and The Sopranos) and the socializing. Funnily, my last 2 visits to the city have been marked by major incidents in there,the last time i went there,The govt collapsed and Yeddy(Steady Go) ended up with egg(tomato if vegetarian) on his face. This time however the egg's been washed off by industrial strength shampoo and the face was glowing thanks to the application of Victory 1.0(Hopefully he should update it after 5 years). But this time's visit didn't just cause political upheaval,but also led to some serious action in the form of the new airport.

Caught my return flight from there today, Gotta admit, Bangalore International Airport beats the shit out of the other International airports in India when it comes to the overall swankiness factor. Wish i could've said the same thing about my flight. I don't get it. All right you guys are a low budget flight and all that,but is it a low budget trait to take off more than an hour late. 1st of all had a really stressful morning what with the last minute packing (My fave travel pastime) and me almost forgetting one of my essentials at home (oh the horror!) my earphones that is, and of course waiting for almost an hour for the damn bus to the airport to arrive.

At the airport it was equally surreal. The stare of admiration on checking out the snazzy interiors turned into one of SHOCK checking out the long line at the check-in counter(makes the line for the 1st day 1st show for a Rajni saar movie in Chennai look like a short one). Of course,the screaming kid behind me wasn't helping. Was kinda scary watching him throw his mom's mobile phone to the floor with absolute contempt. From then on,it was a long long wait for the flight punctuated by calls to random chatterboxes (Thank God for postpaid),wistful stares at the beauties sitting in the row across mine, even more wistful stares at the intercom praying for it to go "The boarding is announced for Flight $%% from Bangalore to Mangalore",but unfortunately that came after almost 3 hours.

But the fitting conclusion to the day came with my near death experience :P I know sounds kinda dramatic for me to make such statements, but trust me,anybody on my flight would've felt the same. The plane takes off and almost immediately flies right into an air pocket making us feel like we're inside a martini shaker. Then the plane drops and i don't mean a smooth landing drop. This was the real thing. Suddenly,my life's turned into an airplane disaster movie. Inside the plane it's like a horror movie with the lights flickering and the screams of the other passengers. I however was not gonna let my life end like this if it was gonna really happen. So i took a large swig of red bull,let the caffeine give me a good buzz and pumped up the volume on my headphones. What made it better was that i was listening to really aggressive numbers like The Kill,Broken Wings(The alter bridge version,not the Mr Mister version) etc. But what took the cake was that the name of the pilot was Captain Jesus. Yeah,i gotta admit i didn't see THAT coming. I half expected the dude to make an announcement saying "My name is Captain Jesus and I'm gonna introduce you to the real one in a few minutes".

To his credit though,we landed safely,otherwise it'd be weird writing this from heaven or hell(depending on God's mood). Most people would've had an epiphany or something after this incident. I just felt more hungry(Hadn't eaten all day), met up with a friend,enjoyed the greatest freaking smoke/drink/meal of my life,got home,popped in disc 1 season 1 of Scrubs,and said to myself "I love this fucking life".

Thursday, May 08, 2008

And Now!!!

I kinda like the title of this post. It reminds me of one of my favourite songs. Jumpin Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones. I've got 3 different versions of this song by the rolling stones and other cover versions by artistes as diverse as Guns'N'Roses and Ananda Shankar(WTF!!!). The and now!! comes from the time they performed at the rock'n'roll circus of 1968 where John Lennon introduced the band. Man,now if that doesn't define big,dunno what does. Almost like having the Pope as your chauffeur or Arnold Schwarzenegger as your personal bodyguard.

Well, the exams have been crawling just like i'd predicted in an earlier where i mentioned a relation between time and the heat. Exams!!! Jesus F******g Christ!!!! Why do these guys think that it's the best way to prepare us for the real world by bombarding us with stuff that doesn't mean shit in the real world?????? Now i get it when they teach us stuff like marketing concepts and stuff. But what truly defines shit is Computers. People are moving to high tech crime with concepts like Phishing and Pharming(Sounds like some idiot with a speech impediment made up this stuff), But we are being taught something that is more blunt than Simon Cowell on a bad day,stuff like Windows 3.1(Oooh so cool so high funda), MS-Dos( Wow,black and white user unfriendly command prompt,so much fun) and worse shit than that. Why don't they instead teach us stuff like how to look busy with a blank Excel spreadsheet on your monitor, dealing with office politics(that shit could be a master's degree course in itself), tolerating your Boss's bullshit(under societal ethics perhaps)....

I know i'm ranting, but then you've gotta agree with me. Nothing satisfies you more than a well expressed rant. Good food gives ya cholesterol, Cigarettes ruin your throat and other stuff, Booze fucks your liver, But a good display of anger, that makes ya feel lighter that the most advanced form of power yoga.

Power Yoga reminds me of all the skinny chicks we see on TV and in the movies. God Knows which idiot told them that their ribs showing is sexy!!!! Take for example, All the well known supermodels for example. They look more starved than sexy. You think she's looking at you hungrily, think again, she's probably imagining a good meal.

Arrite,i seem to be running out of excuses to rant :P No problem though,i'll find something new tomorrow.

Btw, Withdrawal symptoms+Red Bull+A LOT of Tea= Not such a good idea ;)