Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Life's A Lesson,You'll learn it when you're through!

Oh Man Man Man Man Man!!!!!

Suddenly, Life's getting a little too real......If you look at Life as an investment

Investment= Return - Pretty Good :)
Investment > Return- Awesome!!
Investment < Return- Crappy :(

Right now Life's kind of in da Crappy phase......It's like either I expected too much or maybe Life just enjoys kicking me in the nuts and at this moment i feel the wind flying out of my sails and this sick feeling in my gut.....

Frightening, Looks like I gotta learn how to use my fear to work for me like they say in all of them self-help books

Sunday, November 30, 2008

The Scene!!!

Lately, As I drift through here and there meeting random people, The FAQ in my head's like "What's the scene".....

All that's happened lately has been a blur. A blur of incidents passing by so fast I could hop on one of them and I'd reach Bangalore within a few minutes. It's literally Life at the speed of thought. Crazy Crazy Crazy. I ask myself why I've been letting stuff just pass me by. Funda's simple, If I don't care about something, I'm not sure I wanna be on board :) It's more like, Leave me alone, I'll grab the next one :)

One thing I've learned lately is that Ego can be like booze. The right amount can get ya going anytime and anywhere. A little bit of Ego's always required to get that competitive edge. But too much of it can kill ya...Not necessarily lead to your physical death, But the death of something inside you, Maybe the good in you..

More to come soon....

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Flights Of Success!

Weird philosophical fundas float through my head at times.....

Today's Funda:

Success is like a flight...

It doesn't just happen, You need to keep trying, A few crashes later, it'll happen(Wright Brothers, I salute ya)

It can happen at the right time if you are on the right airline.

If it ain't your time, You'll get delayed, but you'll get there eventually.

If your luck is bad, your flight can get canceled.

If your luck is really bad, your flight can get hijacked.

But if your luck is really really bad, your flight can even crash.

And yeah, there's always a ground staff(support system) to make sure you take off smoothly.

I'd explain more, but am sure this is pretty much it.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Random Title!

Middle Of The Night, Usual story i face at this time of year. Anything i say to my conscience, It replies "You talkin' to me", Strange thing, It's beginning to sound a lil too much like Robert De Niro.

Right now, I seriously am confused. I don't know whether my instinct is different from the Devil inside me ;) I'm trying to filter out urges brought about by the devil,but i keep getting tricked into thinking that these urges are what i am supposed to do. Happens to all of us at some point, I guess..

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Feelin' The Heat!!!

As of this moment, I'm burning with a fire, A fire inside me, A fire that seems like it will incinerate my insides and leave me a soulless body with just a superficial layer to show for myself.

I feel the heat of anger- The fire of anger is white, It blinds me, It provokes me to destroy, to carry out a spell of destruction, to devastate anything that blocks my way.....

I feel the heat of passion- This heat pushes me forward, pushes me towards my goal. It refuses to stop pushing, It makes me want, It makes me desire, It makes me want to run even faster towards my destination, It makes the road seem much shorter than it actually is.......

I feel the heat of fear- The fear that tries to keep me down, The fear that nags at me, The fear that claws at me, The fear that makes me want to give up, The fear that makes me want to cry. Even though i feel it, Even though it's burning me, I refuse to acknowledge its presence except when i try to convert it into passion....

I feel the warmth of love- The warmth that keeps me secure, The warmth that spreads all over me like a cloak, The love that i don't recognise, The love whose source or form I can't see, Yet i feel it, I feel the presence of a reassuring benign friend, a lover, a parent, a sibling, a whole family....

Sunday, October 05, 2008


And things are just back the way they should be......

Of course,things haven't changed drastically,I'm not yet successful,not yet hitched,but these ain't the mainstays of my life. The things that act as the fabric of my life have managed not to unravel fully and have been woven back together into a completely new design ;)

Until the next hole :D

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

At Wit's End

Am truly at my wit's end. Things are just changing and changing and changing, I'm facing the kind of storm I'd never even dreamed about. It's like I got no moves at all to counter what's coming at me. I'm just getting hammered and hammered and hammered, Yet for some reason, I'm still standing and ready to face obstacles one after the other, each worse than the other, each tougher than the other.

Suddenly, I feel alone. Deserted. It's like whatever bad things I've done in my past have all caught up with me and are making me face what I've done. I don't know right now what I must do. I wish I could escape from this, But I don't want to. I just want to wait and wait to see how this ends.

Someday It's gotta end, Maybe earlier, Maybe just in time, Maybe when it's too late. Let's see

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Learnt Something!

I learnt something today

"The more effortless something looks,the more is the amount of effort put into it"

Monday, August 04, 2008

My Funeral March!

When I Die, I want this song to be played at my funeral

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
cause there's too many places Ive got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I cant change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I cant change.
But please don't take it badly,
cause lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I cant change.
Lord help me, I cant change.


Damn It!!

Again I find myself at a point where I seriously wonder "WTF am i even doing here". Blank, Confused and Cynical, exactly how i feel at the moment. Blank because nothing's making any sense, Confused because I don't know what to do and Cynical because this is a been there done that situation for me and nothing good's ever come out of it :)

I also wonder at times whether I should stop trusting people completely. Because lately what i've observed is that there is no use trusting anybody even a little bit because that they are resourceful and cunning enough to turn that little fiber of trust into a rope and strangle you with it at worst or atleast tie you up leaving you immobile yet watching.

The one thing that can frustrate you in life are limits. Whether it's in what you are doing or whether it's in yourself that the limits exist, they can inhibit you from carrying out something with the dedication and skill it deserves. If the limitation is something you were born with, nothing much you can do except try working around it a bit. But what if the limitation is self-imposed??

Questions that sear at my flesh.....Hopefully I shall have the answer someday :)

Sunday, August 03, 2008


Lesson Of The Day: Cough Syrup CAN get you high

This is an example of a lesson i actually enjoyed learning ;) The sobriety of the past few weeks has been getting a little monotonous. Surprisingly, My health's been acting up at a time when it should absolutely not thus settling the argument that shit and bad luck always turn up at the wrong effin' time.

Funny thing about life is when you want to savour a good feeling, you never have the time to as something or the other just blitzes you away and keeps you occupied. But when you are trying to get rid of a bad feeling, Life suddenly slows down and makes you feel every nuance of that feeling till it passes which adding to the pain takes its own sweet time passing you by.

Lately, even though i'm known to occasionally lament my single status, I am also prone to thanking my stars for still keeping me single. The insanity that prevails among the couples around me makes me wonder whether i am actually prepared to sacrifice my sanity for some random gal. Also,for some reason, i'm not someone who can bear listening to a woman's tales of woe. I may be listening politely with an understanding look on my face, but my Inner Monologue will be asking the gal to cash in her reality check i.e deal with her issue and in the process get a life(Sounds scary,But that's me).

Can't think of any way to conclude this strangely random post,but who cares,My blog,My style ;)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fade To : Silence!

Laughing at life and its various idiocies has always been a favourite pastime of mine. It's something I've always enjoyed doing since quite some time now. But suddenly, Life's laughing back at me,and unfortunately for me, It drowns out my laughter by a few million decibels!

Weird as it may sound, I actually started acting all out of character since the past couple of weeks. I tried turning into my imaginary alter-ego for sometime. But I conveniently forgot the fact that my alter-ego exists in an equally alternate dimension where there's no such thing as a consequence. Pity, it's consequence that provides a foundation for every action in this universe.

Right now,I'm suddenly beginning to realize that I've changed a little too much and it's not being appreciated ;) While the more confident me has found a few takers, It has apparently rendered me "inaccessible" to a lot of people. Weirdly, I hated the accessible me because it gave people a pretty decent opportunity to dump all their crap on me.

I've basically started hating all my weaknesses which has sort of motivated me to start working on them so that even my weaknesses become my strengths. That's gonna take some time i guess, But hell, still got a long haul in front of me, so guess i don't have to worry about issues like "Is it worth it?"

Kinda feeling abandoned at the moment,yet i feel no fear because i have confidence in myself :)

Thursday, July 03, 2008


This post finds me on a Thursday afternoon,staring at the screen,listening to some arbit hindi song that randomly starts playing on my system wondering the 1 question that's always bugged me from time immemorial (Or atleast since i started thinking deeply) "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON".

Tough question above,the only question which a semi decent quizzer like me has never been able to answer. The problem with the above question is that it never has a simple or a permanent answer unless you consider total confusion to be an answer which is not exactly correct all the time. The answers keep changing,the questions don't.

I'm kinda coming to terms with all that's happened since my 20th birthday. The minute i turned 20,i was literally pushed into a no man's land that's neither teenager nor adult and i'm still trying to get a grip. I know this sounds cliched,but since I've turned 20,I've been in a permanent state of free fall and everytime i've managed to hold on to something,it's broken off faster than i could settle into it.

It's been crazy,it's been insane,it's been ruthless,But overall it's been pure unadulterated fun!! The thing about my life is that when i'm surrounded by events happening around me,it never gets dull. It just moves from 1 point to the next at break-neck speed.

I still don't know where my life's headed and to be frank,I still don't care thank you very much.

Till the next entry ;)

Thursday, June 12, 2008


Oh yeah,Can't believe i'm getting out of my fucking teens. Seriously, It's kinda crazy,for anybody born in 1988, you turn 20 and all you see around you is 20 thanks to cricket ;)

Freaky Friday is what it's gonna be this time. My birthday is on Friday the 13th,not exactly something to alarm the shit outta me except maybe for the fact that there are atleast 4 new movies releasing that day.

These days,looking at all the stuff that's happening around me, the fun,the tensions,the politics,the love,the hatred,the craziness,the moves,the countermoves etc,I sit,I watch,I laugh,I absorb the shock,I come to terms with the latest nonsense,I react,I stare,I dream,that's all i do.

Hell,here's wishing myself a happy 20th birthday in advance :),Hope this decade treats me better than the previous one.

My wishlist for this decade

1)I get a decent job
2)I make good money
3)I get the respect i deserve from folks around me
4)I make good friends
5)I finally get rid of my single status
6)I lose my virginity ;)

That's what i wish for. If i get it,good,if not,chuck it,there are other things ;)

Wednesday, May 28, 2008


Before you guys go off on some random tangent connecting me to KJo , Ekta Kapoor and the other K fixated individuals, lemme just say, WTF :D,if ya can't beat 'em join 'em...

Just got back home after the mandatory summer vacation trip to Bangalore. Normally,my blore visits are pretty long and everything,but this time i kinda figured i'll be better off with a short and sweet visit. Did the usual bit of eating(A bit would be an understatement) and shopping (That 70s show,Mahabharat,Scrubs and The Sopranos) and the socializing. Funnily, my last 2 visits to the city have been marked by major incidents in there,the last time i went there,The govt collapsed and Yeddy(Steady Go) ended up with egg(tomato if vegetarian) on his face. This time however the egg's been washed off by industrial strength shampoo and the face was glowing thanks to the application of Victory 1.0(Hopefully he should update it after 5 years). But this time's visit didn't just cause political upheaval,but also led to some serious action in the form of the new airport.

Caught my return flight from there today, Gotta admit, Bangalore International Airport beats the shit out of the other International airports in India when it comes to the overall swankiness factor. Wish i could've said the same thing about my flight. I don't get it. All right you guys are a low budget flight and all that,but is it a low budget trait to take off more than an hour late. 1st of all had a really stressful morning what with the last minute packing (My fave travel pastime) and me almost forgetting one of my essentials at home (oh the horror!) my earphones that is, and of course waiting for almost an hour for the damn bus to the airport to arrive.

At the airport it was equally surreal. The stare of admiration on checking out the snazzy interiors turned into one of SHOCK checking out the long line at the check-in counter(makes the line for the 1st day 1st show for a Rajni saar movie in Chennai look like a short one). Of course,the screaming kid behind me wasn't helping. Was kinda scary watching him throw his mom's mobile phone to the floor with absolute contempt. From then on,it was a long long wait for the flight punctuated by calls to random chatterboxes (Thank God for postpaid),wistful stares at the beauties sitting in the row across mine, even more wistful stares at the intercom praying for it to go "The boarding is announced for Flight $%% from Bangalore to Mangalore",but unfortunately that came after almost 3 hours.

But the fitting conclusion to the day came with my near death experience :P I know sounds kinda dramatic for me to make such statements, but trust me,anybody on my flight would've felt the same. The plane takes off and almost immediately flies right into an air pocket making us feel like we're inside a martini shaker. Then the plane drops and i don't mean a smooth landing drop. This was the real thing. Suddenly,my life's turned into an airplane disaster movie. Inside the plane it's like a horror movie with the lights flickering and the screams of the other passengers. I however was not gonna let my life end like this if it was gonna really happen. So i took a large swig of red bull,let the caffeine give me a good buzz and pumped up the volume on my headphones. What made it better was that i was listening to really aggressive numbers like The Kill,Broken Wings(The alter bridge version,not the Mr Mister version) etc. But what took the cake was that the name of the pilot was Captain Jesus. Yeah,i gotta admit i didn't see THAT coming. I half expected the dude to make an announcement saying "My name is Captain Jesus and I'm gonna introduce you to the real one in a few minutes".

To his credit though,we landed safely,otherwise it'd be weird writing this from heaven or hell(depending on God's mood). Most people would've had an epiphany or something after this incident. I just felt more hungry(Hadn't eaten all day), met up with a friend,enjoyed the greatest freaking smoke/drink/meal of my life,got home,popped in disc 1 season 1 of Scrubs,and said to myself "I love this fucking life".

Thursday, May 08, 2008

And Now!!!

I kinda like the title of this post. It reminds me of one of my favourite songs. Jumpin Jack Flash by The Rolling Stones. I've got 3 different versions of this song by the rolling stones and other cover versions by artistes as diverse as Guns'N'Roses and Ananda Shankar(WTF!!!). The and now!! comes from the time they performed at the rock'n'roll circus of 1968 where John Lennon introduced the band. Man,now if that doesn't define big,dunno what does. Almost like having the Pope as your chauffeur or Arnold Schwarzenegger as your personal bodyguard.

Well, the exams have been crawling just like i'd predicted in an earlier where i mentioned a relation between time and the heat. Exams!!! Jesus F******g Christ!!!! Why do these guys think that it's the best way to prepare us for the real world by bombarding us with stuff that doesn't mean shit in the real world?????? Now i get it when they teach us stuff like marketing concepts and stuff. But what truly defines shit is Computers. People are moving to high tech crime with concepts like Phishing and Pharming(Sounds like some idiot with a speech impediment made up this stuff), But we are being taught something that is more blunt than Simon Cowell on a bad day,stuff like Windows 3.1(Oooh so cool so high funda), MS-Dos( Wow,black and white user unfriendly command prompt,so much fun) and worse shit than that. Why don't they instead teach us stuff like how to look busy with a blank Excel spreadsheet on your monitor, dealing with office politics(that shit could be a master's degree course in itself), tolerating your Boss's bullshit(under societal ethics perhaps)....

I know i'm ranting, but then you've gotta agree with me. Nothing satisfies you more than a well expressed rant. Good food gives ya cholesterol, Cigarettes ruin your throat and other stuff, Booze fucks your liver, But a good display of anger, that makes ya feel lighter that the most advanced form of power yoga.

Power Yoga reminds me of all the skinny chicks we see on TV and in the movies. God Knows which idiot told them that their ribs showing is sexy!!!! Take for example, All the well known supermodels for example. They look more starved than sexy. You think she's looking at you hungrily, think again, she's probably imagining a good meal.

Arrite,i seem to be running out of excuses to rant :P No problem though,i'll find something new tomorrow.

Btw, Withdrawal symptoms+Red Bull+A LOT of Tea= Not such a good idea ;)

Sunday, April 27, 2008


Still stuck here with time slowly crawling by,moving fast when it wants to,crawling languidly at its worst. The dreaded exams have finally gained on me,only 1 day standing between me and them before i launch into one bloody battle. Ok that sounds totally cliched like some of the stuff you see on orkut profiles at this time of year, like this dude who goes "lost the battle of physics" blah blah blah ad nauseum. But gotta give a hand to the guy for glamorizing exams by giving it a Lord Of The Rings/Star Wars touch with stuff like Battle of blah blah. Kinda makes you imagine the guy dressed up like some medieval warrior fighting an orc.

My story right now is almost the same as it was the last time i posted. Now i've got 23 more days to go before I go off on another trip to my favourite destination Bangalore(I still can't bring myself to say Bengaluru,kinda pisses me off). A couple of years back,the main reason i used to love Bangalore was for its repertoire of culinary delights, But then Mangalore ain't no slouch in that field. Especially recently where restaurants have been opening up here at pretty reasonable intervals. But when it comes to materialistic nirvana,nothing beats Bangalore. It's been a paradise for me and Dante's Inferno to my dad who visualises money flying away at the speed of a jet when i just say "Bangalore" in front of him.

Last time i was there, I ended up at this place called National Market. Now to the outsider, it looks like the Black Hole of Calcutta, only instead of prisoners, you've got retailers and customers here. But to somebody who likes quality stuff,but hates spending too much for it, this is THE Place to be. The place turns me into a vampire at a blood bank. The place has got the biggest collection of DVDs of TV shows,Movies,music videos etc i've ever seen(People beg to differ saying that Palika Bazaar in Delhi and Chor Bazaar in Mumbai have got more stuff,but then i've never been to either of these places). In fact this is the only place where it took me more than 20 minutes to buy whatever i wanted. I've been known for buying my cellphone(worth almost 20k when i bought it,now not even half that price),a travel bag for Dad and a pair of leather shoes(worth 2 grand) within 15 minutes without even flinching. But this place kind of opened my eyes to why women spend so much time to just buy some clothes or shoes.

The last time i was there, i ended up buying the entire collection of Seinfeld, the 1st 2 seasons of Prison Break and the 1st season of Heroes. All these shows have been truly worth every buck i've paid for them. This time,i hope i get as lucky with what i'm buying,That 70s show,The Sopranos and if any money's left maybe Boston Legal.

But all this is still 23 days away,so till then,just pray that i survive these exams.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Minutes Past Midnight

One of those nights indeed. Am halfway between total depression and laughing my ass off. Yep i can be a tad schizophrenic at times. This is just one of those nights where I'm still awake when i should have been in bed atleast an hour ago. Well, Boredom and Summer don't mix. Actually if you look at it, Boredom is like lousy booze, never mixes with anything.

Actually, If i look at my situation from a more sane perspective I shouldn't be cribbing about being bored as my exams are just around the corner and the last thing i should be is bored. But then I was never much of a studious guy. I am more of a last minute guy when it comes to academics, unfortunately for me though, my group of friends isn't the same. So while they're burning the midnight oil( Not really,they study all day long and sleep all night) I'm up here penning down my thoughts about well myself and life from my perspective (Sane at times,Insane all the time).

Ironically, my talent for writing bullshit blossoms at times like this when i should be involved in something more productive like studying till my brain explodes and then some more. This is when i think to myself "Thank God I'm not in engineering or medicine". And ironically, I feel bored the most during even numbered semesters whose exams come during summer. Oddly during odd semesters I never feel this way probably because of Diwali and a whole lot of other festivals happening at the time or maybe because odd semester exams aren't taken that seriously (Yeah right!!!). Another reason could also be the fact that the weather is more agreeable at that time of year whereas now time just seems stretched like a lousy Karan Johar movie.

Exams and me have never really gotten along except for a brief glorious period when i was in PU college when i actually used to look forward to exams because i was secure in the belief that i would score well. But now, College is a totally different ball game where your expectations are inversely proportional to marks actually scored. So in such a case, my interest in studies just waned. However this time, it remains to be seen how the coming exams will go, whether i'll be left smiling at the end of it or scratching my head going "What The Fuck?". Guess i need to butter up the Gods a bit this time. Hell, at the risk of sounding gay, I say "Que Sera Sera,Whatever will be will be".

Friday, April 04, 2008

Whoa!! Long Time!!

Whoa!! Long Time!!

That's what my blog seems to be saying to me. Thankfully on more pleasant terms rather than a wife confronting a husband who walked out on her ages ago which going by experience (Not Mine!!) is followed by a long monologue on the shortcomings of the man, his lack of a couple of interesting body parts that are mostly covered up and blah blah. Well, I haven't exactly got any excuses on why this blog's been silent from ages. There has been a lot of stuff to write about. But like a guy about to break up with his girl would say "It's not you,it's me". Well,the writing bug is the only bug that ain't biting me lately. Probably felt sorry for all the sores on my body.

Today was a pretty interesting day. But it kinda had a sad tinge to it. The quiz club that i belong to is kind of coming to an end. It was fun while it lasted, but now most of the members are moving on the greener pastures leaving a few of us behind while we still come to terms with what we want to do with life. They say "All good things come to an end", but sometimes you wanna just scream "Why????".

I can't exactly blame myself for feeling this way. The club had sort of become a way of life for me. I've been into quizzing since i was really young, thanks to Bournvita Quiz Contest and all those GK books my Mom used to read which i ended up reading. Then of course, all the quiz competitions in school and even now in college have kept my interest alive. The club however played a major part in me improving my quiz quotient. I learnt that quiz wasn't all simple questions and slightly distorted pictures, but also workable passages and connections and fundaes , some random , some spectacular. I myself have improved pretty substantially at figuring out the most random connects.

Today's meeting was a sort of Grand Finale, so it was held at a larger venue with the members turning out in full force. Most of them have already relocated, but came back for this final farewell. It was a fun evening of questions, answers and good food.

The rest of the day was pretty all right. Had to get some pictures taken for some ration card thing, didn't exactly follow the reason. My eyes have this tendency to water the minute i stare at a camera which occurred today as well making the photo session an ordeal. Was impressed with the fact that these guys have actually started using web cams to take snaps thus saving a load of time. Then there were the fingerprint taking thingamajigs which were seriously cool. Then of course tuitions which I've actually begun to enjoy rather than dread.

Well,that's all for the moment,guess i'll write more often sooner or later