Winning!!

Everybody loves winning.Whether it's a galli cricket match or the world cup,college elections or national elections,It matters a lot.Trust me,winning is something that can get you out of a lifetime of depression.

To me,winning is like a drug.Addictive as hell,but once you lose touch,you don't miss it,but just look back and say "Boy,i did good"(i sound like a redneck).But seriously,winning is the only reason any person would want to look back through his otherwise unremarkable life.Of course,more than winning,look back at your losses.Atleast you'll learn from them.

What i love about winning is that the feeling that you get through your body when you win is this perfect mix of an adrenaline rush and a really happy feeling.Winning is fun,but too much of it can get a lil boring,Ask me,i'll tell you all about it(I now sound like an overconfident obnoxious prick).

Oh yeah,watched Ta Ra Rum Pum,that's where i got the idea for this post.

Anyways,the song for today is Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor

Risin' up, back on the street
Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

Chorus:
It's the eye of the tiger, it's the cream of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of our rival
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And he's watchin' us all in the eye of the tiger

Face to face, out in the heat
Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

chorus

Risin' up, straight to the top
Have the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

chorus

The eye of the tiger

Pain

The word "pain" comes from the Latin: poena meaning punishment, a fine, a penalty. Pain is an unpleasant sensation; nociception or nociperception is a measurable physiological event of a type usually associated with pain and agony and suffering.

That's the definition for those of you who don't know what it means.Sometimes,we just go through life behaving like the burden of the whole world is upon us,Act like we are the only people who've got problems.But what i learned today was that if you truly need a reality check,make an effort of listening to the problems of others.At least,you will then realize that your life is not as bad as you make it out to be.

The thing about pain is,it can never be suppressed within you.It always comes out at the slightest provocation.But personally,what i feel is physical pain is anyday preferable to mental pain.That's because physical pain always subsides,but not mental pain.Mental pain leaves such ugly scars on your psyche that till you die,it stays with you.It's like they are around to tell you "Hey Asshole,You Fucked Up.And we are always gonna be around to remind you of it".Some people go through it because of their own mistakes,but some unfortunately face it due to the mistakes of others.Call it injustice,but unfortunately,nothing can be done most of the times.

Sometimes,i fantasize about what it could be if i had the power to wish away all the pain in my life.But when i look back,i realize that the pain that i received unexpectedly was like a wake up call.To be frank,it was like being splashed with really cold water as you sleep peacefully without any troubles.The wake up call alerted me to many eventualities.I understood that life is not always a cakewalk.Things aren't gonna be convenient all the time.Good times are never gonna stay.Even now,when i'm really happy,there's a little pain inside me that nags me so that i do not forget.But in spite of all this,even now,i don't feel prepared for what may happen in the future.I still fear pain.

Pertaining to the topic,here's a song.

3 Days Grace-Pain

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain

Relief!!(Atleast that's what i feel for now)

Trust me,nothing feels better than that warm current of relief that passes through you when you've just had a narrow escape.Was kind of stuck in this weird situation which got resolved by itself(Don't they all?).Then came one of the most amazing weekends of my life.Met someone totally unexpected which again resolved a lot of stuff running through my mind.For now,i just hope that the flow continues.All i gotta do is go with it.As for the xams goin on,4 down and 3 left hanging over my head like the Grim Reaper's scythe.What makes it worse is the heat,especially inside the examination hall.1 more week to go before 2 months of fun,boredom and other such assorted stuff(The word vacation is an oxymoron while you are in school and in college).Then,thankfully,the city that's got my heart,Bangalore beckons.

Anyways,the song for this entry,Summertime Blues by Eddie Cochran.

i'm a-gonna raise a fuss, i'm a-gonna raise a holler
about a-workin' all summer just to try to earn a dollar
well one time i called my baby, tried to get a date
my boss says, no dice son, you gotta work late
sometimes i wonder, what i'm agonna do
but there ain't no cure for the summertime blues

oh well my main and papa told me
son you gotta make some money
if you wanna use the car to go ridin' next sunday
well i didn't go to work, told the boss i was sick
now you can't use the car 'cause you didn't work a-late
sometimes i wonder, what i'm a-gonna do
but there ain't no cure for the summertime blues

i'm gonna take two weeks, gonna have a fine vacation
i'm gonna take my problem to the united nations
well i called my congresman and he said quote
i'd like to help you son, but you're too young to vote
sometimes i wonder, what i'm a-gonna do
but there ain't no cure for the summertime blues

Realisation!

Like in a previous post where i'd expressed about how i felt free,Today was another such day of realisation.I learnt a beautiful lesson from life which hopefully should guide me through in the future.I learnt that sometimes you are happier if you don't get what you want.I learnt this a little late,but i sure am glad that i did.Looking back in retrospect,i wonder why i felt this desire for something that was not meant for me.Maybe it was true want,maybe it was just due to the fact that it was out of my reach that made it more irresistible.But whatever it was,it controlled my mind too much.However,no such trouble now.

Coldplay-Talk

Oh brother I can't, I can't get through
I've been trying hard to reach you
Cos I don't know what to do
Oh brother I can't believe it's true
I'm so scared about the future and
I want to talk to you
Oh I want to talk to you

You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung, or do
Something that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle?
You can't find your missing piece
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung, or do
Something that's never been done, or do
Something that's never been done

So you don't know where you're going
But you want to talk
And you feel like you're going where you've been before
You'll tell anyone who will listen but you feel ignored
Nothing's really making any sense at all

Let's talk
Let's talk

Let's talk
Let's talk

Panic-stricken

Panic is the primal urge to run and hide in the face of imminent disaster. It is a sudden fear which dominates or replaces thinking and often affects groups of people or animals.

That is the definition of Panic.But,how does Panic actually feel??Well,with me,panic is that sinking feeling in the gut when you know you are fucked.Why am i talking about panic?because that's what i'm feeling at the moment.Oooooh,i hate it.

All i can do is pray that the feeling passes

Funny Business

Life's kinda interesting when you least expect it.The best part about life is that it never stops.Ups and downs keep coming your way.Kinda adds spice.You are always in suspense(like a person watching a Hitchcock movie)about what happens next.Today went pretty decent.Exams began today.Not some stupid unit test kinda thing,but the real thing!!!When I hear the word exams,the tension in the room becomes so thick,i could cut it with a knife.Anyways,today was English.The only paper which i actually enjoy writing.That's because,u can write any bullshit you want to and for a guy like me,It's heaven.Of course,finished it within 2 hrs coz was hungry(didn't have breakfast as usual)so,was kinda running out of energy.Came out,watched one of my crazier friends flirt like mad with a chick(of course,she walked off quickly lest he flip out).Then met my 2 best buddies(BB)and moved out of the place with them.Watched Bheja Fry today.Total laugh riot.Had a great laugh especially at the dialogues in the movie.Now,gotta watch out for Hindi day after.Total vernacular attack.Now currently,wondering what to do about Hindi.It's like a rash,not gonna go away by itself.So,gotta sit through the biographies of Gandhi,Socrates,Thyagaraja etc.Wish me luck!!.

Slightly Intoxicated

Today was the 1st time in many days that i realised what freedom truly meant.I walked a free man today.As the cool wind caressed my face,i felt the exhilaration i hadn't felt in a long time.I didn't feel suffocated today by the weight of my feelings.I instead felt light.I felt like i was floating an inch above the ground.Of course,today i let go of a very heavy burden.My burden has been taken over by someone else.The burden wasn't mine,but i chose to lift it.In the beginning,the burden felt light,it didn't feel like a burden.But it grew heavier and heavier.I needed to get rid of it.I resorted to all means possible to get rid of it.But one day i came face to face with the truth.The truth is that since my burden was of my own making,i had to reduce it myself.Now,the truth had another part to it.If i ignored the burden it would go away.But the problem was that by now i had gotten used to the burden and so it was hard to wean myself away.And my burden slowly began to become a burden on others.They stopped listening,they stopped respecting me.Then,it dawned on me that i need to get rid of this burden not just for myself,but also for those who are with me for nobody should carry my burden.So,after a month of de-addiction,the burden is gone.I feel free.I feel proud of myself.I feel happy.I feel light.I just hope the feeling lasts.

Comfortably Numb-Pink Floyd(Kinda reflecting how i feel)
Hello.
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?

Come on, now.
I hear youre feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.

Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts:
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Ok.
Just a little pinprick. [ping]
Therell be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.

Can you stand up?
I do believe its working. good.
Thatll keep you going for the show.
Come on its time to go.

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.